Greetings from North Cumbria, where social distancing is easy as long as sheep don’t get Covid-19.

I’m going to talk you through my patented Austerity Baking Giant Pie of leftovers. It’s a bit of a production to make, but doesn’t require any fancy technique. Will take time but, let’s face it, this is not currently in short supply. 

So, BEHOLD THE GLORY. 

Looks like proper baking, doesn’t it? 

You’ll need a 23cm Springform baking tin. 

Right. So. *cracks knuckles*

I usually buy a ham shank from our local butchers because they are cheap as and a £3.50 investment will make me a TON of scotch broth and this pie. Will usually make a stock the night before by boiling the ham with root veg, bay leaves and black peppercorns. I take the meat off the bone (I generally get about 250g’s worth) and reserve about a pint of the stock. This gives me major Domestic Goddess feels, but if you can’t be arsed you could just buy the damned ham and it’ll be just fine! Also, would be an excellent use for the remains of a roast chicken. 

Peel and slice (between .5 and 1cm) about 1KG potatoes (about 3 hefty bakers). Parboil for about 5 mins or until just yielding to the point of a knife. Strain and cool. 

Chop a large onion, carrot and leek or celery. I tend to chop up and freeze my ageing veg in bags so I generally have a soffrito good to go. Sweat down in butter until sweet and fragrant. Season. Allow to cool. 

Make your sauce! A good 1cm slice of butter, a couple of generously heaped tablespoons (unhelpfully I just eyeball this) (in fact I eyeball everything but the pastry). Stir the flour into the melted butter then, bit by bit, add your stock stirring until thick and glossy. If you don’t have stock just use milk, I’ve done this too and it’s absolutely fine. I chuck in a liberal handful of grated cheddar - it doesn’t particularly *need* it but I’ve never regretted adding cheese to anything. 

Stir the sauce into the veg & ham, set aside to cool. You only have to try putting hot ingredients into raw pastry once to learn an important life lesson. 

That’s your filling done. Congratulations. You have created a great deal of washing up. 👍

Next up, you are going to make hot water crust pastry. If you haven’t done this before, DON’T PANIC. I reckon it’s actually easier than shortcrust. It’s particularly great for pies because, due to magic (probably), it holds your filling in a light, crisp embrace. 

Proper ingredients in proper quantities. To wit. 

265g plain flour

55g strong bread flour (all plain will also work just fine)

1/2 tsp salt

65g lard or veg fat

135ml hot water 

Put fat and water in a pan. When fat has melted, chuck the dry ingredients in and stir vigorously to bring together. 

As soon as it’s cool enough to handle turn it out onto a floured work top. Keep 2/3 for lining your tin and 1/3 for top. 

Roll out to fit the base and sides of the tin with a bit of overhang. Patch up any holes as you go. Nobody will see. I promise not to tell anyone. 

Now, your filling:

Sliced potatoes on bottom

Saucy veg

Sliced potatoes

Saucy veg

Sliced potatoes 

Saucy veg

Sliced potatoes

As long as top and bottom layers are potato all will be well. 

Egg wash round the inside edge of the pastry. 

Roll out your top, lay it on then rolling and crimping inwards, seal up your pie. DO NOT take a work phone call at this point because your pastry will dry out and become a nightmare. Yes. I did that today. 

Poke a couple of holes in the top to let the devil/steam out. Egg wash the top. 

Place on a tray (in case of leakage) in an oven preheated to 200c or 180c fan for  an hour. 

Allow to cool in tin completely before turning out. 

It’s an entire meal encased in pastry! Enjoy!